(SHORT NOTES) The House Hunting Diaries: Part 2

Random notes from Days 2-9 of our apartment search:

  • Started off looking at Art Lady’s apartment in the Haight. She doesn’t allow guests and says that said Adam is too tall. Despair.
  • Next guy was named Plant Dude. [Name changed to protect his privacy.] He works at Apple and is super cool! He’s not going to pick us.
  • Saw a 3 bedroom penthouse off Piedmont Ave. It’s owned by Russian Jews—a beautiful old couple, Elena and Jeff. Adam flirted with Jeff, which ultimately allowed us to leave a security deposit with them. Then they called later and said they’re holding out for someone else. Fudge. Emotional roller coaster.
  • Called to schedule another appointment. Woman said her back hurt very, very bad. I don’t believe her.
  • Made it to the next rounds for Plant Dude’s place! Maybe he DOES like us! This is SO Hunger Games. Gotta go fill out a 10-question survey. Is he really going to pick us over a ballerina? We’re screwed.
  • Weird day. Key words: weed, spiritual, unemployed.
  • Craigslist Creep of the Day: “i have a unique schedule, i’ll work 9-11 days a month, 24 hour shifts, meaning if i’m working, the whole place is yours and you can even have orgys. I am Asian, so you will have to be comfortable with Asian foods, and things like fish sauce” -Jimmy
  • Plant Dude didn’t pick us.
  • Fine. Whatever. Plant Dude’s real name starts with a “P” and ends with a “aul.”
  • My new home shall be a patch of grass in Alamo Square.
  • “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Who said that? G-d? No. Miley Cyrus. Definitely Miley Cyrus.
  • I blame Paul for everything.
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