Matt Damon and Ben Affleck.
Robin Williams and Christopher Reeves.
Monica Geller and Rachel Green.
Mork and Mindy.
Lindsay Lohan and Raven-Symone!!!
Roommates. Those cohabiters you can’t get mad at for leaving the toilet roll empty because, in truth, they make your monthly rent affordable.
Or, in my case, a guy called Johnson. He talks during the day and at night!
I’m still finishing the final touches on it, but I wanted to give everyone a little sample of what’s to come in my new book The Book of Johnson: The Diary of a Sleep Talker: Part 1: Breaking Dawn.
Chapter 1: Sleep Talk
Somniloquy, or sleep-talking, is a sleep disorder that refers to talking aloud while asleep. It occurs in approximately four percent of adults and involves a variety of sounds, ranging from extended speeches to short outbursts.
A few examples from Johnson lie below, all recorded between the hours of two and five A.M.:
- No! I don’t want to go!
- Shut up! I’m going to kill you!
- Do Transformers…get life insurance…or auto insurance?
Chapter 2: Day Talk
These need no introduction. Let’s do this:
- Mailman. Ha. That’s redundant.
- This guy who cut my hair used to work at Pixar. He’s, like, “Buzzcut” Lightyear. Ha. Ha.
- You’ve got to be kitten me.
- I thought about that in my head before I said it.